I'm sorry to read of all that you are going through in your sitch. For me I found the more my W went wayward, the more it pushed me forward in my detachment. Simple thoughts to myself of "I don't deserve/need this crap!" were immensely helpful in moving me along my path. For sure you have a ton of fuel from your W to do the same as well. The biggest impediment right now is your own mind simply because while you can recite the whole "I'm moving on" and be basically cool with it, you have no idea where moving on is going to take you. Not having the sense of control over what's ahead of you will keep you looking back to what you think you still might be able to control.
Keep your focus on YOU and how you expect to be loved and treated and with time you will get to where you were meant to get to with this chapter in your life.
