I’ve struggled a lot with what I’ve done wrong (or failed to do) in my MR. Some days I’m better about it than others.
Detaching helps with that, but so does time. I’ve been in my sitch for about a year or so—but only been in the forum for about 2 months. You’ll have better days and worse days—it’s like a rock splashing into water: it’s the worst closest to impact, but as you get further away (in time and in distance), the waves are less and less (if that makes sense).
I’m battling a bug as well (not sure if flu or sinus infection or whatever), but my W wants to talk with me about her parenting plan proposal. I’ve told her that I don’t want to make any big decisions while I’m sick—I also want to wait until I’m better so I can better handle any emotional reaction / manipulation from her (I don’t want to be taken advantage of or worn down more in my current state). It may not be the best approach, but it’s what it is right now.
I do agree that it would be nice to have someone to care for / about us—I do miss that and made a similar post on my thread. For me, being sick helps with detaching because I don’t have the mental energy to devote to her, and I hope that that part sticks.
With respect to the texting—I’ve tried to be better about viewing / responding to her texts. I see them when I see them, but I try to not respond totally right away, except when the kids are involved. That’s the thing—if it’s a pic or an article or a comment that is not kid-related, I really don’t respond if I don’t have to.
