Amazing how he lives with his own current inadequate behaviour what with him being such a criticising perfectionist (bet that was politer than what you put) Mine was much more subtle than that if he noticed imperfections. He mostly didn't notice because it was my domain and he was out doing his own thing. However, one of the boys commented that they know that I protected them from his criticisms and high expectations. He could get himself into an eye bulging rage over the most idiotic of things and often accused me of having too 'laissez -faire' an attitude to the boys. Well it turned out really bad. Not. They are kind, loving, emotionally intelligent men who are very successful in their chosen paths. I only had 2 rules really; whatever career you decide to do in life is absolutely fine if it makes you happy and you don't lie to your mother!
I'm sure having someone to talk to will help and the fact that you recognise where it's coming from will make a difference. Would it be a negative thing to help her with some of the organising again, for a short time just to get her over this hiccup? Just give her little tiny bits of extra self responsibility slowly? I don't think you will ruin her.
