Gerda – thank you for these words. It’s exactly what I needed to help re-focus. I have always been a Christian, and involved in the various churches I attended throughout the years, but that deep relationship with God is new to me. That becomes clear in my struggles, and I have to remind myself that HE is in control.
Originally Posted by Gerda
In Rejoice Ministries, they always talk about how the enemy is not your spouse, it's the devil whispering those lies in your spouse's ear. That is why your spouse is in a constant state of confusion.
I know this to be true. Satan has definitely found his target, and right now H does not have the armor to fight him off. I pray daily for God to give that to him.
Originally Posted by Gerda
You mentioned that faith will bring you peace, and I agree. But faith in what? In God only? What about in what God can do? There is no way you can heal your H of addictions, adultery, depression, etc. But you can pray for him and give him to God. And you can uphold the vows you made to God. And you can say yes if, by God's work on him, your H returns.
Another daily prayer for me is for God to give me patience while I wait for him to do his work. It is on his schedule, not mine. Thanks for the reminder that I need to trust He is working even when it seems to me he’s not.
Originally Posted by Gerda
I have been standing for over 5 years and my H just filed this fall. He seems to have gone back deep into the tunnel. Having an actual D staring me in the face did make me question a lot about what I was going to do -- e.g., I am forced to divorce against my will so that means I can enjoy the company of other men.
Five years is a very long time. But, I do hear stories of marriages repaired after that period of time. Sorry your H couldn’t. Even after just 4 months, and it happened after just 1 or 2, I get comments like “how long are you going to let this go on”, “you can’t live like that forever”, “you’ll find someone else”, etc. Gerda, you must have had to endure such comments throughout the years. What was your response? I too believe in my vows, and even reminded H when I saw him last that I still consider myself married (I still wear my wedding rings). I take my vows seriously (even if he didn’t). There is no way I would date while separated, and I too think it would be hard to start even after a divorce. I’m reminded of a college friend who said “Grace – you’re going to get married, I’m going to get married, and I could see us getting together if we both divorced”. All those years ago, many before I met my H, I told him “No, when I marry, it’s for life.” Of course the decision to stay married may be out of my hands, but I feel good that I’m able to keep those vows, and still have a full life while I wait patiently for God to do his work.
Originally Posted by Gerda
Check out that site, Rejoice.
I will do that today! Thanks for refocusing me Gerda!
