Husband left for the second time - 8

[Jim1234]

Nicole, I'm sorry your first date didn't go so well that you're looking forward to seeing him again. You said he's happy about his divorce and that seemed to be a turn off for you.... Would you rather date someone who moped and went on and on about how much he missed his wife? Most people would not want to put effort into dating someone like that, and I can't imagine a more boring date than someone who droned on about it. I can relate, because I think I was one of them. I did enjoy the adult interactions, thought, and it got easier with time

I can absolutely understand your lack of desire to date, and if you're not really ready to pursue that, then don't. Maybe you will eventually, maybe you won't, and either one is ok. I do hope that if you stumble into a nice guy, though, that you don't reject the prospect out of hand.

One thing to think about... The woman I'm dating now was so hurt by her husband leaving she didn't date anyone who left the marriage, only those who were left. Maybe that's a guideline you could adopt.

As far as the lawyers go, I'm sorry you weren't more encouraged, but I'm glad he's paying everything you'd be entitled to. Eventually, one of you will get to the point that you really want a divorce, and will file the paperwork. If you're not fed up with the current arrangement, then you probably shouldn't bother. From the sounds of it, though, you sound very clear that the marriage is over, so I'm not sure why you would wait. (I can think of one good reason: In PA, alimony is paid for 1/3 the time you're married, so the longer you hold off filing, you will not only receive the check he gives you as support, but the current arrangement continues for say three years, he will have to continue giving you a support check for an additional year on top of that. Maybe it's similar in your state.)

I'm really really glad your medical problems seem mostly behind you. That must be such a weight off your shoulders.