My ex wanted to really be a dad. He was the one who suggested I go off my BC when I did (although he has a rare form of infertility which we found out, and he had surgery on his nuts, and I did IVF). He loved having a newborn.... They don't talk back, they eat the sleep and they cuddle. Anything after that he didn't handle too well. He was 28 when he left for OW and OW is 4 years older. She wanted kids. He told my best friend at a birthday party once "We fight about it, but I can barely handle one kid part-time" She is now 42 or 43 and he is 39. Kids are out. He didn't want his lifestyle touched. He gets home from work at 6:30, either goes to volleyball Monday nights or sits in his recliner and plays his phone game addictively. He doesn't even want the one weeknight he has in addition to his every other weekend because it's "too much work" I make him keep it for our daughter's sake. He will never take an extra week night if our daughter wants it, he only does it rarely when I need it. He has no interest in being anything but a part time dad. He thought he wanted to be a dad, but he only wanted minimal responsibility. He needs ot be center of attention, and he can do that with one woman raising his child, and another being his wife and raising him, lol. He cannot have one woman be his wife and the mother of his child. Which it sounds like your H. And it is who my H is. And will never change.
