When you go on a first date, if a guy is telling you he is still bitter about his divorce, that's usually the turnoff. If he was expressing pure happiness at being divorced, I understand. But if he is accepting of what happened and is making his life the best it can be given the circumstances, that is great for him. That should be an absolute positive!
I am not happy about my divorce. But I project a positive attitude that I will make the best of my life because I accept what happened. Actually, I do see it as a blessing in disguise because my ex is not a good person and my daughter would have grown up seeing her mother mistreated. So, if he was never going to change, I am grateful for the blessing in disguise, but I am not happy I am divorced. I would have much rather him have grown up and learned to treat others better. But I had zero control over that. I am happy with my life now, but it doesn't mean I am happy I am divorced.
You say you figured it out "When my husband is in love with another woman He's totally gone" Do you see what is so wrong with this? Your husband should not be in love with another woman. He is making that choice. Of course he is gone when he is in love with another woman. You are not a place holder until the next love of his life comes along. You are his wife.
I greatly fear for you that when he falls out of love with this woman, he will come right back to the place you will hold for him and as soon as he falls in love with another woman, he will leave you high and dry again. Clearly that is his MO. I know your religious views on marriage, but what are the religious rules on adultery which he commits pure and simple? That is not religious grounds for ending a marriage? I am asking seriously. Does your religion allow for repeated adultery within the marriage?
As far as everything being status quo right now. Legally, there is no need for a divorce. You may need one if you want to morally move on with your life. I know a couple that lived as if they were divorced for years because they had the money and custody all worked out amongst themselves. Until he had a girlfriend that made him get divorced, they didn't.
If you need the divorce legally to move on emotionally, I imagine it would be a simple one. If you don't want a divorce but can live your full like without leave the door so wide and easily open, then don't get one.
But think of your reasons and what you hope to accomplish. I only wish the best for you. My heart goes out to you.
