Agree with everything you said. I can honestly say that I am in a good place. I am where I want to be. And there will never be a sitch #4 or #5. Because I am where I want to be, if she were to BD #3 me, as I've told others, my response would be, "Okay, so how quickly can you be out of the house?" I am in a much better place within myself.
I also appreciate the comfortability vs complacency point. Very good. I think I can honestly say that while we are more comfortable I have not become complacent. And I won't. Ever again.
Tryin to convince me ?
Or yourself ?
A little of both? LOL One thing I am sure of now is that you can never be sure of anything.
Is it workin for you ???
Cause I'm not really buying much of it..
I think you are just as confused by this as anyone reading along might be.
One day you are heartbroken, the next reconciling,the next you are unsure if you are reconciling, the next thinking about leaving yourself, the next you are happy again, then worried about another bomb, no wait..I'm happy and in a good place....
WTF ?
Again....did you answer my questions ??
And just FYI, I don't really need the answers, they are for you....
However, I can tell from most of your words that you glossed over them pretty quickly.
Mach, i can assure you that at the time I read them I gave them my full attention. Yes I answered them for myself. I am not sure if I was ever unsure we were Ring, but admittedly this last year has me unsure of much in life. Did you see my quote from the Queensryche song "I Don't Believe In Love"? "She said she loved me, I guess I never knew....but do we ever, ever really know?"
So do I have moments of being unsure? ABSOLUTELY! Does that mean I am walking around in despair? Not at all. Does it mean that I it causes me to keep from being becoming complacent again, like I was pre-BD? Absolutely.
As far as thinking leaving myself, yes, I did struggle with that. Not really sure where that came from. I really have no complaints about how our relationship is now. I guess I was focusing too much on her lack of housekeeping, being a bit lazy, etc. I was doing the exact OPPOSITE of your "love is what you give, not receive" head shot. I am back now to focusing on loving and giving, rather than brooding and wanting to receive. I was never in a bad place, just having pangs of regret at how I handled BD and the immediate aftermath.
Note, not sure if you read my thread carefully or not, but when I was going through that her intuition detected that something was wrong and she was distraught. Despite my insisting it was just my issues I was working through, and that she need not worry, she was very worried. A year ago she wouldn't have given two craps.
So are we in a better place today? Much better. Is it all unicorns and rainbows? No! It is marriage. It requires care and feeding.
Based on my words, which of your questions do you believe I glossed over?
Last edited by Steve85; 01/25/1901:33 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
