13 years and 2 kids pt. 4.

[Hurt213]

Journaling:

So whats cooking in my life .

I have had a good couple of days, and I have been enjoying GAL activities and having time for my self. Yesterday I went to a parent meeting in my daughters kindergarten. It was a good meeting, they think she is doing really well, and I was pleased about what they had to say. It was a bit strange to drive by my house, knowing that my kids were in there, playing, and then just continue down the road to the daycare. It was fine though, and I take that as another sign, that I am progressing in the right direction with myself at the moment.

After the meeting, I hit the gym for a good couple of hours. It was awesome, and my body is as fit as ever right now, and that is really boosting me mentally. I made eye contact with this very good looking girl, and I instantly took my eyes to the floor. Seconds later I looked up, and she looked at me again and smiled. She then proceeded to come over and use the machine next to my barbell (did anyone say open invitation for a conversation?), I did however not have the courage, so I just smiled and minded my own business - maybe I will see her again. Anyways it was nice to be noticed.

On my way home, I called WW to inform her of the meeting regarding our daughter. Another positive sign for me that I have detached more than ever before, was that throughout the conversation, I had this calm feeling inside. I just informed about the main points at the meeting, answered her questions and elaborated if she didn't understand. Then I ended the conversation on my terms with a "I need to go now, see you tomorrow".

Yesterday morning I heard a radio show, where the host said the following to a guy who had just been served with papers unknowing that there was even something wrong: If a person can do that to you, then you need to distance yourself. It will hurt, you will be limboing for a while, and then, suddenly, you will find that person, who gives you butterflies in your stomach when you think of her, and you will feel warmth circulating your body when you get a text from that person. <--- I realized that I have no butterflies in my stomach when it comes to my WW. I want that feeling, it is the best feeling in the world. I dont mind if it is with someone else at this point. If it is with WW though, it will be a completely different person, because the person I see now, can't produce that feeling in me, thats long gone.

Today I am getting my kids, and I am soooo looking forward to a week with them. My batteries are charged, and I am longing to hold them, snuggle with them and the weekend is going to be absolutely wonderful.

Have a great day all .