Marriage counseling sounds tough. On one hand it's great that you and your wife are going together but on the other hand it exposes the issues even more. If you're like me, and religious reasons play into your decision to honor your vows and keep divorce as the last option, I don't think you'll ever regret trying to make things work with your wife. Asking her to go to counseling is one of the only things you can do at this point-in-time. Still, in my case my husband came back after his affair and we lived in a situation kind of like yours until he got tempted and left again. You may end up in the same position, but you may regret a decision to divorce too quickly as well. It seems in your case like an physical separation, or legal separation, may help to clear your head and may help your wife to realize that she's at risk of losing everything. You don't need to go straight to divorce, but if she's not making progress and you're feeling bad then a more radical approach may be necessary.
