I don't think you can replace the seal yourself. How old is the washer? Depending upon the age, it might be wise to just purchase a new one. They are on sale at the moment. Seals and labor are quite costly these days. My sister just went through this and opted to get rid of it because the repair guy told her it's not worth fixing. Her washer was 8 years old. They don't make them the way that they use to.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
