My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 6

[ovrrnbw]

Hey everyone,

thought I'd write down a few notes from MC last night:

Therapist said W is minimizing her actions when telling her story. I've been guilty of this too. We can learn from our own mistakes and from others.

Therapist said we are good at fighting and not so good at listening and hearing each other. That has to be true b/c even our priest said that last month. I really need to dig in and 180 here. And I am trying, I was trying to do that the other couple days when she was screaming at me.

Therapist point blank asked me a question and W interjected before I could respond and answered for me. That was rich.

Therapist asked me if I was comfortable a couple of times, and the way she phrased it reminded me of this Mike Tyson interview where the interviewer was clearly being a dick and Tyson lit the guy up saying "it's more uncomfortable being in here with a rat POS like you". Well I was thinking my W was the rat. I was just so disgusted listening to her garbage and my body language showed it, at least for the first half of the hour, so I cleaned up my body language.

Everything W talks about is how I hurt her, over and over. I'm tired of it. I wouldn't be tired of it if she were thinking about her part. At one point the therapist mentions how each side needs to own their part of the marriage breakdown and W acts like she agrees. I said "Hold on, that's not true! Why don't you tell her the truth, W?" I went to say how W is BS'ing herself on her part. I really was thinking about how to sabotage this MR - maybe that's not possible considering where it is - and just getting out. W just ruins my happy moods right now. I know these are emotions I need to work through, and I need to keep detaching so I can come back see things clearly and make a calm decision. So I am just keeping that in mind.

Ginger, great posts and thank you! Kids aren't anywhere on the horizon given this sitch. And you're right about speaking up for myself. What do I really have to lose? A crap relationship?

Adam, I don't feel the commitment. Nope nope nope. That's what is holding this back. So I stay back. I don't put myself out there, but I need to take steps to protect myself and enforce my boundaries. I need to not let fear control my decision. I need to drive any fear into the ground. And I'm really trying to get serious here.