Slow Sacred Journey

[mylittlehalo]

Slowly, Just checking on you. In reading your posts for the last few days I have seen some positive strides. Debcb has shared some very valuable tips here on how to put our "take charge, fixer" personalities on the back burner and allow our other half to feel more in control. I think I will work them into my sitch.

I understand how you feel about NG continuing to talk with XOw. It is frustrating and even a little scary (at least it is to me). Its frustrating because you don't see why they would or should care about what the other person is going through or doing, and it is scary because you are not sure if them continuing to communicate is healthy for your R, in the back of your mind you wonder if there is still something going on between them. (I don't know if these are concerns for you, but I know they were a big concern for me). The way I handle XH talking to XOw is: I pretend when she calls that it is a solicitor calling him to sell him something he doesn't need like viagra or something silly. I also remember that he is telling me about their conversations, He does not go into another room when she calls or when he is on the phone with XOw. Which means he is not trying to hide it from me, and to me this means two things. He respects, trusts, and honors US; and that he does not want to have secrets which means he is loyal to US. Another thing I do (well actually do not do), I do not ask him any questions about that when he gets off the phone, In being silent he actually tells me more than I need to know. I am not sure if this will help you deal with their contact or not I sure hope it does help.
Hugs and Prayers,