Unfortunately, when you are formally divorced, you are going to have to work out a schedule if she goes back to work. She won't be readily available anymore. She isn't going to bend to your schedule if she has to work.
You keep wanting to have this conversation that if she becomes what you need her to be, you' want to make it work. If she really wanted to do it that way, she would come to you and say "what needs to be done to make this work?"
You telling her what to do isn't going to work. She's got to want to do it, and if she wants to, she will, and show you by action.
