This sounds understandable. Of course we are all rooting for you - in whatever form you need.
As an outsider reading, the only line I'd point out is the piece where you say,
Originally Posted by Joe2017
We don't have much time together during the week and it is difficult to make quality time for us to have heart to hearts.
This seems like something you could change. What you're doing right now isn't working right now, so something has to be altered. Since you don't have much time together, maybe you have to really switch up how you use it. Take an even bigger step back and insist that you both DON'T talk about the R or have those heart-to-heart conversations. Just be in the same place together and talk about hobbies and work. Or focus on some activity that you are sharing, not on each other. It's trickier to have heart-to-heart convos when you're ice skating. Or running together. Or dancing/watching a band. Or watching a movie in theaters.
Would it help? I don't know. I'm just trying to suggest that by changing your dynamic you hopefully don't experience the triggers as much right now.
A letter focusing on you and how you feel is a good way to compose your thoughts.
