Making sense of nightmares

[AndrewP]

JuJuB - That's a great post and excellent questions and they certainly make a lot of sense to me. I don't have the excellent answers to them - largely because I don't know you. The you that you really are.

It does sound like you are trying to find that person though.

I remember getting in to arguments here that I was me and that I liked me and that if my then wife didn't - well that was her problem and not mine. And that I certainly wasn't going to try to prove that I was better than OM.

The forums have certainly changed over the last few years and there is much less "blame the victim" happening I believe. I don't know for sure because I don't wander over to the Newcomers section very often. I do wonder if being here held me back as well. That if I'd tossed her @ss into the snow bank back in March of 2016 that perhaps I'd be much farther along than I am now. But it is what it is. Our respective journeys have made us who we are currently. We can look to grow beyond where we are but we can't change the past.

So I greatly agree. Do not compromise yourself. Yes - there is give and take required in any relationship but it should never be at the cost of self. But first we need to find and love that self.