If I could go back and do anything differently in my M it would be speaking up and communicating. Well, there are a lot of things I would have done differently like never marry the A hole, but I digress.....
You did not like the way she spoke to you. You should say " I do not appreciate you speaking to me like that" instead of the passive aggressive silent treatment.
When she tries to snuggle you when she wants it because she wants it, but you aren't feeling it because she treats you like cr@p, how about keeping it real?
"W, I don't feel like snuggling right now. The way you spoke to me earlier actually turns me off and does not make me feel affectionate."
My ex treated me like poop. And he couldn't figure out why I did not want to be intimate with him. The stuff outside of the bedroom really does translate inwardly. who wants to be vulnerable with someone who treats you like cr@p?
Just be honest with her. What do you really have to lose? You only have more to gain.
I am 38 now. Turning 39 this year. My ex was 28 and I was 27 when he dropped the bomb. The difference was we had a 6 month old at the time. My daughter is my life, and she was our IVF miracle baby. But I honestly I wasn't in such awful denial about who he was and either really really spoke up the right way (I just became horribly passive aggressive because I couldn't say anything because he was always right and I was always wrong). I wish someone she was a real man's child. I feel bad for bringing her into a marriage that I knew was on bad ground.
If you want children, please, make sure you get to a healthy place first. I wish I knew what I know now back then.
