She pointed out that she (and I) have been arguing for months out of a place of hurt and that we're so focused on what's wrong with the other person that we aren't taking each other into consideration, and she said we needed to work on that.
Taking away all past actions and ways in which you got to this point - this is a potentially valid point from your W. It would be a good starting point for future R talks, if you head that direction. If you have any R talks, being sure to focus only on how each of you feels/felt hurt. It would be important to gently remind one another that the point of the conversation is not how you feel the other person should change, but identifying what each of you wishes to change in yourselves.
