At this point I would trust her as far as I could pick up a semi-truck and throw it. She has shown no real effort to change.
Agreed. The only thing she's shown is a very reluctant willingness to change, but it's not because it's right...it's self-preservation on her part. That's not going to work at all.
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Whatever happened with the talk your W was coming over for?
Well, the first time, she didn't come over, but then she did a day or so later. Basically I sat, listened, validated for a couple of hours. At the end, she asked "So, do you think I've been abusive to you for the last two hours?" to which I replied "No, but you did spend two hours telling me what was wrong with me." She got a bit upset at that and left. She called back about 30 minutes later to, as she put it, "try to end the day on a good note". She pointed out that she (and I) have been arguing for months out of a place of hurt and that we're so focused on what's wrong with the other person that we aren't taking each other into consideration, and she said we needed to work on that. I listened, and just stuck with "I understand what you're saying." Yesterday was the text of the communication chart that actually (and completely unplanned, so that's interesting) backed up the rational behind what she was trying to explain on the phone. Random. She said she'd tell me about it later. Haven't heard back from her since.
