I really appreciate your thoughts. I had been lurking for a while before I decided to join so I am familiar with your posts. You're absolutely right about her becoming a selfish creature. Since BD she keeps insisting that she is doing all of this for her and that she is finally focusing on herself.
Going NC has been difficult because she finds ways to contact me, usually regarding the kids. I feel like she uses the kids as a reason to contact me. I try not to contact her when I have the kids unless it's something that needs immediate addressing, like when S3 fell off the bed this weekend and cut his head (nothing serious). And if you knew S3, that's par for the course he is my injury prone child.
I don't want to lose who I am in this whole process and I like to think that I wouldn't sacrifice my principles to save my MR. I would hope if it got to that point, I would be the one to walk away.
Some background, my wife grew up in a very religious family, went to a tiny private high school and led a pretty sheltered life, as the two of us call it. We met our first year in college and have been together ever since. I wonder in the back of my mind if this has something to do with her never having been on her own because she basically went from living with her parents when she was in high school then to college where we met pretty early into our freshmen year. During one of our discussions I think she mentioned something about never having been alone and wanting to see what that is like. Again pretty selfish.
My w and i met in high school and been with each other ever since then. Ive often wondered the same thing . She never dated really or neither one of us did the single thing. I have thought many times over the years some of her comments would lead me to believe she would rather be single sometimes. Just here and there over the 17 years together. Def makes you think
