Building my best self and life with or without W

[Did]

Hey ovr thanks for checking in. Sorry for typos from my phone here between jobs. I came here to post my first blog article. Wonder what you guys think? I’ve gotten some good feedback so far. Going to make a Facebook group for divorce, expired relationships and separation. In hopes of generating a bit of a platform to start coaching people and finish my book by the end of the year. I still have to go back and clean it up a bit and make the website look better before really getting out there. If you read it you’ll know who I am but that doesn’t really matter to me. I have no secrets.

https://thecatalystforchangedot.wordpress.com/2019/01/17/the-catalyst-for-change/

Weekend- Coached all day Saturday got dinner with my dad. Wrote, workout, haircut sun then got D4. Had IC yesterday dropped D4 to w. During IC we talked about the end of this separation and how to approach it with w.

3 Bullet points. Understand how damaging the past was. Take accountability. That is no longer who i am and I can’t change the past. No more talking about it or other partners traumas etc. This separation has gone long enough and I don’t accept it anymore. This is what I want in a relationship starts with mutual respect and a safe space to grow with a partner who is inspired and admired etc. appreciate the fact I have D4 half the time and work hard as F to maintain multiple businesses and grow as a man. That will not stop and should be fing inspirational to a woman like god I love this man who works so hard on himself as a dad and to support us. W has said you’re a great dad miss you etc. so wonder if she will jump at her last chance. But I doubt it.

You Can level up and grow with me or not. What I want but don’t expect to happen is to be in a space when you’re dating someone and have a drawer at their place maybe sleeping together a couple nights per week. I’m not scared of divorce and I expect that to be the outcome. If she doesn’t want what I want I’ll tell her to go do the work to get the divorce. If it’s mediation she can split the cost. I will not bring up money. And I will not be paying anymore until the divorce agreement is in writing. If she wants to start spending time together and working on growing together. I may pay rent only which is $1000 less than I’ve been paying. Highly doubt this is the outcome. And if she says let’s date to get to know each other or anything like that I will say that doesn’t work for me. No more breadcrumbs.

Are you in or are you out. This convo will happen when I get back from Vegas. Next week.

Had a real estate appt and coaching my HS lacrosse team today. Dropped D4 at w again. I’m having her every night through wed afternoon since I’m heading to Vegas Thursday - Mon. Not sure about this stuff seeing her for drop offs. D4 has been sick now I’m feeling it and w is too. She got a bunch of meds and I asked her for some. She gave me meds. No pursuit etc. Eventually should / will have a babysitter or nanny but W is available and still not working. I have been reading some stuff about divorcing with compassion and emotional intelligence. Instead of fighting like two opposing parties. That is the page W is on. I do love her and care about her. But I will no longer enable her. Here is an article a friend sent me ;

https://www.ftdivorcecoaching.com/s...4f2d-a26d-0b745e624e7b&utm_source=so

I’m sure I’m making some mistakes here. Go ahead and swing those 2x4s. I asked wife to get lunch or coffee next week already. She said with me??!! Lol. Then she said she’ll have anxiety. I said don’t worry I’ll buy. Either way. I’m ready to move on one way or another. No more anchor holding me down she can swim with me or swim without me. Or she can swim and I’ll soar. Future is bright. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Growth is on the other side.

Cheers!