I Was a Jerk (Part 1)

[Gekko]

Would a detached person be investigating an ex's current flings? No. I say that's good that you can let that go.

Yes I take not caring to investigate as a sign of detachment. When I have that feeling 100% of the time I guess I will be fully detached. I'm certainly not there yet due to my fluctuations but it's a good sign that I am in that frame of mind some of the time. I'm on my way.

And yea, are you friends with all of your exes? I would have told right there, I won't be ever be your friend, even if you stopped treating me like crap.

W has made reference to being friends for the kids' sake several times. I have told her that we will be co-parents and hopefully amicable, but I wouldn't say "friends". I should have been stronger on that point this last time, I agree.

On this subject, I need go back and read DR and some threads here regarding thoughts on doing things with W and the kids, the four of us together. My gut inclination, and a pretty strong one, is not to. We will no longer be a family. I'm not sure it's better for the kids to play one. I'm guessing W wants to do things together to 1) try and make things easier on the kids, and/or 2) to ease the guilt she is probably feeling for blowing the family up. Maybe other reasons I haven't thought of. Cake-eating if she is in an A? Could be that too.

I like that you're keeping your cool, that's good stuff.

ABC, always be cool. Maintaining control in the face of W's shyt-tests and BS makes me feel fantastic.

I hope you're getting out and getting active doing something too.

GAL is going great, it is a bit more challenging with two young kids but I'm getting it done. I am getting plenty of time in at the gym, weekly meet-ups with friends for drinks or live music, some late work nights, projects at the house, and trying to get more alone time with just me and kids for portions of the weekend. I'm never just sitting around, I'm always either working on something or on my way out. This part has been easy for me as I had a busy life before, I am just ramping it up now. Part of my continuing GAL over the next month:

1. Keep hitting the gym hard - weights and cardio.
2. Get to the doc for a physical.
3. Get to the dentist for a cleaning and a touch of whitening.
4. Time for a haircut - keeping it short, definitely takes a few years off the appearance. Also doing some color conditioning at home to reduce the gray, takes another few years off.
5. Dermatologist for a skin check and to discuss face care regimen. Investing some $$ and effort into the face will pay big dividends,
6. Shopping for new clothes, business and casual, and workout gear. Don't forget about underwear and socks, it feels better to have new stuff. Couple of pairs of new shoes as well.
7. Weekend trip with the fellas.
8. Continue weekly dinner/drinks out with friends.
9. Schedule some fun stuff with the kids over the weekends, just me and them.

I will also keep the board updated as the D talks progress. I believe W still intends to tell the kids about the D this weekend, so as we get closer to Saturday I am sure I will start to spin a little.