I think you are smart not to email him back right away. You may even want to consider not emailing back at all or just email “Thanks for the info. Send me the address when you have a chance” and leave it at that. Don’t ask about a divorce unless you want one. Patience, patience, patience.
Sage advice. I think this is exactly what I will do. Acknowledges his email and decision, and allows me to easily ask for what I need. You are right, of course, about not mentioning the divorce. That would sound like I want to force a decision right now. And I don't.
I'm reading the bible every day, chronologically, with a group. Someone posted a verse today that I read right after the e-mail as I was thinking about how to respond. So timely! God is always at work.
Job 13:5 If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom. (NIV) If only you could be silent! That's the wisest thing you could do. (NLT)
So, think before we respond. And sometimes no response at the best solution of all.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
I wouldn’t worry about the “downside” comment. My first thought is that he likely said it because he thought you would be upset. What a great opportunity for you to show him the opposite and make him think about what he could be losing.
Once again, another's perspective makes me see another side I didn't consider. Taking the high road and not commenting on his decision allows him to make them and then live with whatever consequences that may follow. In his case, potentially further loneliness and depression. Of course he could find himself happy there, too, but that's his journey. Which brings me to Peace's comment:
Originally Posted by peacetoday
They stay in limbo because they are not happy- They think another person, house, car-- ect will make them happy what they lack to see is happiness is inside and it is not our partner that makes us feel alive but only ourselves-
I see this so clearly in H. "stay in limbo because they are not happy".... It must be exhausting to dwell on all the options all the time.
Will he find the next honey to build him up and tell him how wonderful he is? Will this new "soul mate" be the one to finally bring him true happiness and that "intense emotional bond" he states he doesn't get with me.
I have no reason to believe this has/is/will happen. I think he is potentially too depressed. But again, if he did, the feelings would probably be fleeting. One can't escape themselves, can they? He probably would discover that too late for us, though.
