Dude that was the most unproductive line of thinking ever. Why do that to yourself? You control your thoughts and you control your attitude. I can see how a thought like that may enter your mind but it's on YOU to crush it.
I was fine until yesterday after I lifted. When I saw myself, I just saw myself and my thoughts just spiraled. Everything that came out following that had my dad's voice behind it. It was like my dad was telling me these things without him being physically present. And to make it worse, that is the kind of crap my dad would say to me. Even now.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
You can change your reality at any point. You can't control her, but you don't have to accept things as they are. You are doing her a favor by giving her an opportunity to come back to your marriage and make amends. You can stop doing that at any time. Isn't she of the same religion as you? She knows how bad this is.
I know. I'm trying to change it. It's slow but I have been trying. I stopped controlling her a long time ago. I am doing the best I can right now, which is a lot better than what I was doing 6 months ago.
She is spiritual. I am working back towards being my version of Muslim. I have never forced or convinced her to convert. I never expect her to, nor will I ever place that expectation on her or anyone else.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Your body is changing too, you've been going to the gym for what, 6 months? C'mon man. I've been doing it for almost 20 years. It takes time, but hell if you don't like the gut, how much are you running? You have plenty of time right now. As for balding, I can't tell you how many balding men I've seen with babes. Hell I buzz my hair and people call me bald but women love it. Why? B/c you act confident.
And I almost forgot, did your W every say I want to separate b/c of your weight? I bet there was more than that.
6 months, yes. I know that it takes longer for a body transformation to take hold. And I'm happy at the progress I am making. I am not stopping. I can't. I've gone too far to give up now.
No. She did not leave because of my weight. She told me as much when we were together. She left for many other reasons. Where I am struggling is that I felt that she was the best match for me. She is beautiful, she is witty, she is caring, and she is strong. All good traits of what any man wants in a partner. She loved me for who I am, not how I look. And I just feel (I know it's not true) that she is one of the rare ones who saw that. And that women like her are few and far in between. Is it true? I don't think so. But it sure feels like it.
