Emerging from my fog? (pain18 DB X)

[AnotherStander]

I go the bathroom to change. Before I take off my T-shirt, I look at myself in the mirror and say, “That is an attractive man!” And then I took off my shirt. And I saw my body for what it really was. A 240 pound lump of some muscle with a still-protruding gut, hairy back, and a chest that looks anything but “good”.

Phoenix, sorry you are having a down day! But my man, we ALL have those thoughts. I'm 5'-8", 160 pounds, about 13% bodyfat, chiseled body from 5 years of weight training and another 3 years of Crossfit, and when I take off my shirt and look in the mirror you know what I see? That damned stubborn band of fat around my lower waist that just refuses to burn off. My GF sees a strong, sexy, muscular, confident man though, so THAT is what I focus on and I shove thoughts of that stupid band of fat into the back of my mind. Women are very attracted to confidence, and hey we don't walk around naked all day so look at yourself with clothes on and remind yourself that you ARE an attractive man! Also remember your goals! You are ON YOUR WAY to being a super stud with your shirt off too! So you're not there yet, don't sweat it! You've got your goals you're working towards so any current excess fat is TEMPORARY. If you want to feel better now then go and get that hair waxed off and maybe hit the tanning bed a bit. That'll give you a boost on the way to losing the rest of the weight.

“ I bet that my GF’s H hates him for being intimate with my WW but that’s ok because she moved on to me and I am hers now. I learned from my two divorces, but the third M to her will be the one that lasts. It’s ok, because we just want him to be happy again. But that’s not my problem. He messed up. He let her go. He should not have been awful to her. Who in their right mind would treat her the way her H did? I won’t. She deserves the best. And I’m it. I sex her up good, I treat her great, I can’t believe the stupid H pushed this W away.”

Most OM's are just thinking "wow I can't believe my luck, I get to bang a married woman so I get plenty of sex without worrying about having to actually put a roof over her head or take care of her kids, this no-strings-attached stuff rocks! Then when the WAS actually gets a divorce and is like "yay now we can set up house together!" then they run for the hills like their tail is on fire. You're mind is painting the rosiest picture possible for them, but reality is probably a lot more mundane.