(((Phoenix)))

I don’t really know what to say. I know how easy it is to start to spiral this way. Trust me...we are always our own worst critics...although it sounds as if your father may have been yours. The things people do to their kids. frown You do not deserve this. No one does. It is not a punishment even though it feels like one. You did not get to this place by yourself.

Given your description of your day, it sounds like you may be spending a bit too much time alone. You need to get busy with other people and distract yourself from your feelings. I spent my evening playing pool with a large group of people and felt quite happy on the drive home. It helps to get out. Do you have a workout buddy or two? Friends that you can meet up with for a beer or go fishing with? When this happened to a friend of mine, she signed up for an Improv class. She actually met her second husband there. I know that you just want to curl up in a ball. Please don’t. Think of all of us who are going through the same thing. We’re with you. We know you can do this and you must. If not for yourself than for your D4. She loves you unconditionally and she deserves to have a dad who is happy and healthy. You can do it... one step at a time. (((HUGS)))