Gordie 23 one year after she dropped the D

[roist]

I wish I could lend you a patience shovel but I have none to spare!! Though an order for more has been placed!!

I was curious to see how your W reacted in the aftermath and going forward. On these boards it has been known that the holiday season can often give rise to extra contact or better interactions in some cases, which disappear just as quickly afterwards. There are many explanations for this, but that doesn't really matter to the LBS. the fact she continues to sleep together since is a big step even though as it is, is surely less comfortable for you than apart. Give her the time and space she requires. She may just be signalling to you that things are not fully there yet so the distance is just a slow down sign not to assume everything is rosey and physical affection can continue as newlyweds. She could have gone back to her room, so that is positive.

Yes there are a lot of positives in your situation. Keep focusing on them. Encourage them. As for the negatives, that's where the patience shovel is needed. Our wives are still a bit self centered and look at the world from their perspective seeing mostly what is good or bad for them. I understand that is difficult, but look at it as another phase to get through as one way or another it will too pass. TBH those negative comments are like drops of water that are at first easily shrugged off (relatively easier) but over time wear through our protection and hurt. Each comment in itself may be minor but the accumulation does take its tole.

As you said things are improving day by day. Focus on that. Look to where you are heading without measuring how far you still have to go but rather how far you have come. She isn't ready to look at her bad points nor your good points for the instant but that time will come. Again don't stress about that happening as you will make sure it does further down the line.

I would just caution you to hold strong and not let her dictate all the terms of how things progress. Follow her lead but make your own decisions about what is ok or not at each stage. Let stuff slide to allow progress without being a pushover.

Best wishes Gordie