Her: Like I and MC said, you can't expect to go from 'nothing' to sex in a matter of weeks/months. It takes time. I can't believe you wouldn't want to continue this, after the progress we've made.
Me: I haven't asked for sex. But you refuse to kiss me, hold my hand, touch my leg, hug me, etc. If it hasn't happened after 4 months of getting along great, how can i believe it's ever going to happen?
Try to rephrase things so they don't sound accusatory. "I" language instead of "you". So maybe- "I understood it would take time and feel that I have been very patient and given it plenty of time, and I do not see any progress. I'm feeling (whatever you're feeling- frustrated, ignored, alone, etc.) and my patience has been exhausted. I am not willing to continue this any longer." Be firm. If you're thinking about ending it then you want that message to come through loud and clear. It's clear that this isn't about sex to you and I'm not sure she understands that. It's about the lack of intimacy. Don't let her sidetrack you by minimizing what you're saying by accusing you of just wanting sex "too fast".
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Her: I'm starting to get those feelings back. I've just had so much stuff going on, stress, issues, etc, etc, etc
If she says something like this then see it for the lame excuse that it is. Go back to reaffirming that you feel you've given it plenty of time and you've reached your breaking point.
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Or, she'd get pissed and say 'well if you can't be patient then maybe we should stop trying'.
Your response to this should be "I'm sitting down with you to explain my feelings, please don't get angry. It is very difficult for me to share things like this, but I feel like you would want to know now while there is still a small chance of salvaging it rather than after it's too late for me.
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The point is, she's typically better at these conversations than I am. I usually end up looking like an idiot.
If the above is how she replies to these conversations then frankly she sounds terrible at it. A GOOD response would be her asking about your feelings, validating them, asking how she can do better moving forward. It sounds like she just "wants to be right". Unfortunately that's exactly how my girlfriend is so I can sympathize with your frustrations. Just tell her your feelings, then if she starts getting pissy then thank her for listening and tell her it's something you would like her to think over, then leave. I have to do this with my GF or she will just keep escalating it into a fight.
