That future isn't the one I want. It looks like the future I am forced into. Not too good at this fake it...
Yes, I think we can all sympathize! Yanked out of our comfortable lives with fairly predictable futures and thrown into something new with a blank, unknown future; and all done completely outside of our consent. All we can do is make the best of it. I've said this before but I love my life. I work hard but I have a lot of fun too. I have a lot of independence now. So am I happy I got divorced? No not at all. If I was offered this path or staying in the M for life, I would have chosen the M. Not because it would have been better than what I have now, I don't know that. But because of who I am, my principals. I would have stayed true to them if given the choice. But I wasn't and neither were you. So go out there and teach life who's boss
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Feel like I have pulled myself back to the beginning. How much of what I am doing is for me and not for her? Right now I have no real idea.
It doesn't matter, just keep doing it. Eventually it'll ALL be for you. Be patient with yourself!
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Sort of threw faith related questions in that theme at the minister. Am I lying to myself in my effort to return to the church? Might be able to fool myself and the people there, but fool God?
So based on what I put here I think I am doing something wrong.
You are doing fine! These questions are normal and part of the recovery process. You have to go through a period of rethinking everything- your goals, your perceptions, your faith/ spirituality, your place in the universe. It's normal.
