I believe now, as I did when I first joined, that my marriage can be saved. Some days I feel this more than others. I see the kindness, the small gestures .... and the little flame of hope shines a little brighter, then he does something that draws me away again. I believe it is the same for him. We draw a little closer, than pull a little apart. Fear of the past. Fears for the future. So we live in our present - we see each other daily, co-parent our children in as positive way as possible and do nice things for one another .. .so, in a word, we are still in limbo.
I think your marriage can be saved too FS. I have always thought that your H is still uncertain despite what he says. His actions speak louder than words. He is still married to you and doesn't seem to want to change that. You and your girls see him more than I saw my H when we were together. Keep doing what you are doing. At the very least, you are saving yourself.
Originally Posted by FlySolo
I have put my rings back on. Quietly, with no fanfare and no expectation that he will do the same. He has not mentioned it and he has not put his back on.
I don't think this is a bad thing. It sends a message that you are open to R but your GAL activities send the message that you are also prepared to move forward without him. And it is you being true to yourself which I don't think is ever a bad thing.
Originally Posted by FlySolo
I was in the car with my H and the children the day after the incident and I told the children that when mummy and daddy first met that mummy would fall over all the time, and they both laughed and told me that that was what daddy had told them the night before. H and I had a bit of a laugh about all the times I fell over back when we first started dating. it felt like the early days when he found my clumsiness endearing and not a character fault. That was when I decided to put my rings back on.
This is what hurts the most, I think. Not having that kind of connection anymore. I am really happy for you that you got to have the moment with your family...even in the midst of all this. It is a gift.
Originally Posted by FlySolo
I do not feel closer to him today than I did when I last posted. I do feel more authentic though. Oh, and I negotiated a 10% pay rise at work ... which I think is worth celebrating (on my own eating ice cream, watching TV, waiting up just in case D9 wants me to come pick her up :))
Yay for you!!! Definitely worth celebrating!!! The raise and your feelings of authenticity. Can't put a price on that last one.
