I am right there with you Jlh. Very much looking forward to the day when he is not the last thing I think about when I go to sleep and the first thing when I wake. The sadness and the loss is draining, to say the least. Your H sounds a bit more confused than mine in terms of what he wants. If I were you, I would probably pack up some of his things...at the very least, for my own piece of mind. It helps with the moving forward process, I think.
Go dark as much as you can (tough, I know, with kids) and keep the focus on you and your S. Set small goals for yourself. Practice mindfulness and start to build a PMA. Forgive yourself for not being PERFECT. No one is...least of all our WAHs. Also...remember this is not about you. Given all of the stressors your H had undergone just prior to BD, I would say this is definitely about him. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. The weak just run away and leave other people to pick up the pieces. You, Jlh, are tough. Don't ever forget that!!!
