Thank you so much for the advice DejaVu, He just makes no sense at all sometimes, saying he wants to go quickly but then leaving behind a lot of important stuff of his. I just don't want to hurt anymore.

I know DB talks about the don't believe what they say and the actions are different from the words, etc, but I am just at a loss to all of this.

A friend thinks that putting his stuff by the door could possibly cause him to wake up a bit, but I don't care about that, I just want to stop hurting and take care of my so I can get up not feeling overwhelmed and sad.

Together for 13 years, married for 8.
H is 46
I'm 40
S is 6
Bombdrop in April 2018
Still in limbo as of 2019