Just another word to new posters who may be reading. This is why it is advisable to keep your sitch quiet of possible. I know a lot of LBSs that need support of their friends and family, but they later regret it because of the very dynamic mentioned here by blackmac.
I think this is a factor that played into my H's decision when he was waffling on staying or going. He was "outed" by my BIL and sister and has not been able to be around them since. I regret that I told him how I found out. I don't think he can imagine ever being around them again without feeling a lot of shame and given they are the other two people with whom I am closest, it likely seemed impossible to him that we could R and he would feel okay around my friends and family again. He has a hard enough time being around his own mother.
