Phoenix - My understanding about those invitations is that it is fine to go as long as you have ZERO expectations and avoid initiating any R talks. If you ultimately want to R, it stands to reason that you shouldn't turn down every invitation... just some - especially if they are last minute. The vets can correct me if I'm wrong.
You are exactly right if it's a couple that's flirting with reconciling, but in P's case his W is still in an affair so it would probably be better to avoid that type of stuff.
WW is still engaged in the A with OM2, but again...she has dropped hints to R without saying it directly. What I have noticed, though is her sniffing and acknowledging about my positive changes constantly. I am not sure if this goes against the grain of what is preached here, but I am going to continue to try to attract her and show hints of wanting R myself. I see how much pain she is in and I see that she is not happy overall. I'm not going to rescue her, but I am going to make it known that I am the best she will ever have and she would be very foolish to let me go.
I want to find the balance between attracting her back and avoiding the cake eating. Is there such a thing?
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Originally Posted by sandi2
Look at your goals:
- Bench 185lbs. in 3 sets of 10 reps. - Get a consistent paid gig for my photography - Lose another 20-30 pounds. - Become indispensable at my job.
Nobody is indispensable. If you quit today, your job would find someone to replace you. If you try to become indispensable, you become a slave to that job 24/7.
Quite right. Also goals should be measurable. The first and third ones are quite measurable. The second one is a little fuzzy but the fourth one cannot be measured at all. Maybe something more like "get a positive review, raise and bonus by the end of the year" would be more measurable and achievable.
It's also good to have milestones leading to bigger goals. For example your goal might be "lose 30 pounds", but your milestones are to lose 5 pounds a month. That way you divide it up into easier-to-accomplish bites, and maybe you attach some kind of reward to those (not food-related, LOL!)
I see what you mean.
OK, modified goals:
- Get at least one paid photography gig in the next two months. - Lose another 20-30 pounds by the end of 2019. That would amount to 1.7 - 2.5 pounds of fat per month. - Continue to improve at my job with the goal of being promoted by the end of 2019, with the mindset of balancing my time with my D4 and WW where needed. I cannot exceed 50 hours in a workweek to make this happen.
I'm already seeing the rewards, AS. I'm looking great. I'm gaining confidence and best of all, I'm being noticed by many. That is a great achievement in itself.
