I think it is totally up to you Jlh. I did a bit of both. I found that his clothing in my closet was a trigger for me so I cleared out our MBR of his stuff and left them in bags in our garage. He collected them soon after. Most of the things he wants to take with him are in my garage. He has moved some of it but not all. I've told him he can wait until he buys a house if he wants. Putting his things by the door sends him a clear message that you are on board with giving him space and kind of goes against his accusation that you are holding things up. So do it if that is a message you want to send. I, myself, wasn't thinking about a message when I did it... I was just trying to removed some of the things that were triggering me. Of course, now a closet devoid of his things is also a bit of a trigger but it is one that is rooted in reality and I just need to get used to it.

I know how much all of this hurts. It will lessen over time. (((HUGS)))

Last edited by Cadet; 01/21/19 05:22 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message