I'm an old timer. Previous threads under Spirit/Mirage. I occasionally check in to see how the newbies are doing, but today is an update from an approx Bomb drop 10 yrs ago I think. Time is not relevant for me. I will not or do not read my previous stuff. That seems a lifetime ago.
Quick background. I go through an MLC at about 40. No affair, no leaving, but an internal MLC that lasts 2 1/2 years. I come out of it a whole, healthy human being. My EXW was supportive throughout. Jump ahead 1 1/2 yrs, she hits MLC land. Has affair, lies, cheats, steals, and basically leaves me and our 3 children at the time. She was one of those mean MLC'ers. She disappeared for about 2 years then came back into kids lives. She would talk bad about me most of the time to whoever would listen. I rarely saw or heard from here unless it was something she felt she needed to complain about.
Before I get back to the reason for posting I will say this to the newbies. I have a great life. I had to reinvent myself and my relationship with the kids into our new story. It has been a great adventure and is still ongoing. That is the blessing we receive here. Save yourself so you can save others because your not the only one hurting from this. Also I considered myself lucky to have a good marriage until the MLC hit. I will stand by that forever, but we cannot choose anothers path. For reference it took me about 2 1/2 years to get over the bomb drop to get to the point of healthiness.
So I have to actually meet her the other day. There is virtually no contact at all except for some minor reasons. Our last child(college) needed something from her, so I told my daughter I would pick it up and then deliver it to her in the city she goes to college since I would be there on business.
So I go to there house. Apparently she has a new guy(not affair guy) and he has 3 or 4 kids. So I get the item and talk to her a little. She lied so many years that I have no feelings just a nuetral feeling. The anger seemed to be gone. I sensed a sadness as well. Now obviously I can be wrong but maybe the 10 years has burned the anger out. What also was ironic was the similarity to how we functioned as a family back in the day. I swear it looks like a re-creation.
I find human psychology and interactions very interesting and am much more aware of what people are going through today then I ever would have been otherwise.
I want to send good wishes to all. The standers, the LBS's, even the MLC'ers. It's not what is thrown at you in life, it''s what you do when it does. Not one of us is going to get through this life unscathed. Remember, save yourself first so you can help the next one in line.
Also, Hi Irish. Good to see your actions showing light to others.
