For those that have dealt or are dealing with a WAS, did your S show any kind of remorse or are the majority of WAS so far gone that they just don't care?
Your spouse will probably not show much remorse throughout this process. That is very tough, because you are probably wanting that more than you ever have before, but you are now at a point where you are least likely to receive it. Funny how life works, huh? But all of that is out of your control, so you don't worry about it. You worry about something you can do to make your life great. Seriously!!! It's tough at first, but you hammer this to death and it can become second nature.
Anyways, if they are being remorseful, that is nice. But what do their actions and attitudes say? What have all of those things (words, actions, attitude) said and for how long?
Originally Posted by RVA18
She acts as if this whole thing doesn't bother her at all. W acts like she couldn't care less about me and just wants to be away from me.
That's how you should be acting. And you shouldn't be so focused on her.
Originally Posted by RVA18
I know I need to detach from her and I really am trying but every so often my mind wanders back to her and I feel like I'm back to square one. I hope as time goes on the detaching will get easier, but right now it's very hard.
Your mind is going to do that. You've been with this woman for some time now. There's no way around it. Now you change your mind! Attitudes ----- thoughts ------ actions ------!
Originally Posted by RVA18
but sometimes I wish we could just fast forward and get this over with so I would have no choice but to move on.
Not happening! So imagine this thought is a little stake in the ground and you have a big sledgehammer in your hands...you put that sucker in the ground and make your mind move on. When I was in basic, I missed home or I hated something we were doing one day or something else sucked. But you know what? You had to get mental control, focus on the task and not your negative emotions, and drive through it. That's what you will do and you will be successful.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
But all of that is out of your control, so you don't worry about it. You worry about something you can do to make your life great. Seriously!!! It's tough at first, but you hammer this to death and it can become second nature.