Basically I handed over the kids saturday, hugged and kissed my kids and headed straight to the golf course. I had a great day, and ended the day at my parents place with a big steak, mashed potatoes and gravy on the side (My mom hates my sitch, but really enjoys having me home :D).
Sunday one of my mates asked if we should take 18 holes at the golf course, and so we did - I had a blast, and we ended the day having a beer and a burger - I was supposed to go to the cinema, but I was totally beat and decided to watch a movie with my dad and call it a night. D4 called me while I was out golfing, and told me that she had been to the library with her little brother, and now they were baking and having fun, that was really nice to know.
I have asked that we only visit once (midweek) when its not our week with the kids. Also that we allow the kids to call us, when they want to instead of us asking the kids if they want to call the parent who is not present. Basically it was clear to me last week, when I had the kids, that they seem to be fine and seem to enjoying themselves even if WW is not there. It is when I ask if they want to call (she asked me if they wanted to), or when she comes around twice in her off week, that they begin to act up, and want her - I did the exact same thing when it was my off week, so no blame game here. It was just common sense, that it was our needs and not the needs of the kids. She is a very good and loving parent, and I am sure the kids are exactly the same, when they are with her, so there is no reason to call every night or visit every 2nd day, just to remind them that we are not there when they wake up the following day. WW agreed and saw the logic in that, so I am really glad about that.
I feel like I am really detaching right now from not seeing her except for exchanges, and I am making a progress from the fact that I have gone completely "dim". I respond to texts related to kids (are the winter clothings in the daycare? etc.) and financial issues concerning the sale of our house, other than that, I dont respond because, it is for her to figure out how to make her life work.
I feel refreshed, I have appetite on life, and I haven't been happy like this in a long time. I won't lie, I still think to my self on a daily basis, how we ended up like this, and how it could have been avoided - but I use my stopsign technique, and I have realized, that actually its alright to reflect, because if I dont, then I will bring my bad habits with me into my next relationship, and that I will not.
Have a wonderful day all.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
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