Someone will come along soon with some reading and links for you. We are all sorry that you are here.
It's hard to explain everything in one posting but I'm struggling to work out the dynamics here.
It reads like you had a marriage whereby you willingly (?) participated in his sexual fantasies and in fact enabled them. They started to make you feel uncomfortable and unhappy (perhaps because of the pregnancy) and he continued irrespective. It doesn't look like he's ever 'hidden' his actions? It looks as if this is partly who he is and that you accepted what he was but now don't. Perhaps he sees mixed messages as well and perhaps what he perceives as controlling - you used to accept it and now you want him to change.
So he asked you if you still want to be married to him. Do you? Only if the sexual dynamic changes? At any cost?
Has there ever been a discussion about your dissatisfaction with these lifestyle choices? Were there any boundaries set?
This forum will help you help yourself and start to think about what it is you want. Nobody here will judge you, but you do need to think hard about what it is about this marriage that you want to save and what your boundaries are for a future relationship.
