Nicole, I have seen for almost a year now how full of kindness you are. You want to see the better side of your WH even when it is plain that he is being a colossal @ss. For the next few months, extend the same kindness to yourself. Make you priority. Find all the ways you can feel better and practice self love. If our S failed to pay us back with love and kindness, we should be capable of that ourselves and this is something we need to do forever in life with all Rs. Ask yourself what will it take to make yourself priority? What will it take to heal at a more steady pace?
