Gosh this is soooo hard TJT. I really, really understand how you feel but I want to encourage you to reread your post as if you are reading someone else’s thread and think about what advice you would give that person. I know this is so ridiculously painful and confusing and unexplainable BUT it is what it is. For whatever reason, your H, the one you loved and who loved you in return, is gone and this other person is in his place. Maybe your H is in there somewhere and maybe he isn’t. He seems to have made a decision though just as my H has. He could have made a hundred other decisions but he did not. It feels awful...being abandoned with no warning...it is a pain I hope I NEVER have to feel again. You really have to stop trying to mind read and make decisions based on what you think or hope your H is feeling or not feeling. He may one day regret his decision and want to R and he may not. I don’t think anything you say or do right now is going to affect that outcome. He knows you don’t want this and honestly, by filing first, he probably respects you a bit more than he did before. Regardless...you need to take the focus off of him and put it back on you. You can do this. I know you can. We can do it together. (((HUGS)))
