I have put my rings back on. Quietly, with no fanfare and no expectation that he will do the same. He has not mentioned it and he has not put his back on. I know what some of you reading this might think ... Plan B, right?. I did this after reading a post from Davide about being true to ourselves ... and to be true to myself is not to play games. I still go out with friends, I still go to the gym, I am still painting, I am still going skiing in Feb. I do not ask or require permission from him to do any of these things. But I am commitment to my marriage. If he pushes for a formal separation or a divorce, then I will not stand in his way but I am married and I'll be damned if I will pretend otherwise.
We are both trying to walk our paths but our paths keep converging. Sometimes I wish for the finality of a clean break but know that right now, that is not for us.
This is such an eloquent statement of where you feel you are. I applaud you taking the time to honor what feels best to you, and doing so in a way that is not pressure towards your H. You seem perfectly settled in your detachment, though I'm sure it doesn't feel that way. You focus on you, but the door is open. You're not peeking out or causing a fuss.
I know I've said it before, but I think you perfectly understand the nuances of your own situation, and you are acting accordingly. You seem very self-aware.
Originally Posted by flySolo
H and I have agreed she needs a counsellor and we took her to the GP today to get a referral. H chose to sit in reception whilst D12 and I went in to see the doctor. I am a little annoyed at this but put it down to not wanting to take responsibility.
My only thought on this is that 12 is that age when young girls slowly start to see glimmers of womanhood. Though you're looking for assistance with D12's emotions, I wonder if you H was simply giving space as he sees his little girl become a young woman. I know that's hard on a lot of fathers, and they wish to respect their little girls' privacy. Maybe he thought the GP would be asking questions of a "personal" nature, and he wanted to give D12 some time with her mom so she could be open and honest. You know best, but this could also play a small role.
