Took the boys to get haircuts today and W asked if she could tag along. I agreed. The thing that bothers me is how cold she can be when we're together. She acts as if this whole thing doesn't bother her at all. W acts like she couldn't care less about me and just wants to be away from me. I don't know if that's really how she feels but it is what she projects when we're together. I just can't believe what a 180 she has done since BD. It makes me question everything from our MR and whether she ever truly loved me.
Other than today when she was with us getting haircuts we haven't talked at all recently. Even with everything I've had planned with the boys, my mind still goes to her and what she's doing. I know I need to detach from her and I really am trying but every so often my mind wanders back to her and I feel like I'm back to square one. I hope as time goes on the detaching will get easier, but right now it's very hard.
I want to save my marriage, but sometimes I wish we could just fast forward and get this over with so I would have no choice but to move on. At least at that point there would be some finality because living limbo [censored].
