It destroys one's nerve to be amiable every day to the same human being. ~ Benjamin Disraeli
Journaling Monday. This quote reflects how I sometimes feel about keeping such a tight lid on the more wayward emotions, zipping my mouth and dbing my heart out. I know the process works, just that there are moments when I fear my strength will desert me. Thank God I have you good people here
Positives + H invited me to lunch over at his client project office, yeah. And he came home early for tea again. I'm now utterly convinced he is trying to SHOW me that contact with OW is over. Lunch and afternoons were their traditional get togethers. I'm going to keep enjoying this attention. + we went to see Van Helsing – good entertainment. Felt like we were dating again, with dinner after the movie. + We are both on medication for the cold, feeling better + H is doing good research for our long weekend getaway at the end of May. Really putting effort into this. This is one situation I'm glad I asked for help
Negatives - My impatience is clouding my judgement and enjoyment of life. I need to kick myself harder to slow down. For example, I got stressed out a bit yesterday because I did not get time to consider boundary issues at Central Perk. Well, I think the trust and vulnerability thing is more inportant in our sitch, sooo, I'm going to be kind to myself, slow down, and focus on just one lifetime-habit-changing program for this week - Getting crazy busy at work, I must decline projects more often. It is fun, and rewarding, but right now, and for the next few months, I need to focus on changes to the woman in the mirror.
Off to do some visiting. Maybe come back for more heart work on figuring out when to be strong and when it is more than ok to lean on someone. Slowly.
