Well, this is still really hard for me. REALLY hard. I grew up the hard way not having anyone come to my rescue. The friends I have are ones who I've had for a really long time, and they were the ones who helped me rescue myself.
My D10 has a CD by the Disney Cheetah girls and there is one song that really resonates with me called Cinderella. It's about some tough girls who won't wait around for some guy who pretends to be a knight to rescue them.. and the last phrase in the refrain is, "I'd rather rescue myself."
Well, I suspect that I learned that sentiment a long time ago by not having someone I could trust to rescue me. And the kick butt, take names person I am, I learned that the only person who could be depended on was myself.
Where was Mr. Wonderful when I got the diagnosis on our D7? Doing his usual running away. But then again, as you pointed out, it was definitely a case of extreme adversity.
I suspect that before he left, he relished the times where I was vulnerable. I can think of a few instances, and instead of him rescuing me, I was reprimanded for being stupid or naive or thoughtless. Not exactly the way I hoped to be rescued.
It's as though my weakness made him think less of me.
I see now that his resentment is what colored this vulnerability in this manner. I'm still not hip on putting myself out there for him to tromp on me (or anyone else, for that matter). But in order to build trust, we have to extend it and hope to hell that the other person acts responsibly with our hearts. Right?
Slowly, I hate seeing this stuff come back, especially because it seems to keep biting me in the butt. But I have to say thanks for the reminder. The lesson is always right behind me, no matter how hard I pretend it's gone.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
