Go ahead and 2x4 me for this if I need or deserve it....
On Tuesday, she went on about how she needs / wants a partner, and later mentioned that it is hard getting everyone out the door in the AM.
In an attempt to validate and listen to her, I offered a proposal: That I still get up on weekday school mornings early to shower / get dressed, but then I stick around until 6:45–7:00 or so to help with the boys and take some stuff down to her car to help with that.
I offered to help with the boys as much as I can in the AM, I still get up early to work on some work stuff early that I would instead bring home (like I would do at school).
The 180’s on this? Listening to her, proposing a solution (which may NOT be all that helpful as I think it could be but whatever), following through (she says she wants actions—not words from me, and I started that this morning, as she was home with the boys on Wednesday, and I helped take YS downstairs to the car on Thursday as I was home for faucet repairs).
Doing it to be more present to boys (and potentially avoid that I’m indifferent to her and the boys should it ever come to that later on), to prove to myself (and possibly her?) THAT I CAN CHANGE (and give a concrete example of that), but also to be a better father and husband (to W, or someone else down the road).
Of course, I could also be setting myself up to be used by her. I’ve heard it said that I shouldn’t make myself so available to her, and why should I make things easier for her especially if she wants to leave. I understand that, but I’m trying to do this for myself and the boys—keep that in the vision ahead of me.
