Emerging from my fog? (pain18 DB X)

[sandi2]

Sandi, I am still trying to convey mysteriousness and putting my own tasks and responsibilities over her. To be honest, she has not said anything disrespectful or showed me a bad attitude in a long time.

If she sends you a text and you always wait a while before responding........the mystery has left. It's okay to delay responding sometimes, but if you've made this a routine behavior, then I think you've over-killed it a bit. But........whatever.

I just don't want to nice anything.

My concern was that your anger was the driving force in your attempt to overcome your NGS. Your vindictiveness was turning you into anything but nice. You were not showing attractive traits, b/c you were trying to be the hard, cold, bad guy. You don't want to turn into a jerk.....in an attempt to overcome your NGS. Is there no middle ground between acting civil and being too accommodating? You have to learn how to get along with people, and at the same time.....not allow them to use you for their own advantage. You can say, "No", without being hateful or cold about it. There may be some instances where you will need to stand up to someone who is disrespecting you, and if that's the case.....don't be afraid of losing their love, friendship, or whatever the association. When you do something good for someone, don't do it with the expectations of getting some desired results in return. Don't forsake your self respect and compromise your integrity in order for the other person to accept you.

IMHO, I think not being a "nice guy" is so foreign to men with NGS, that in their attempt to overcome it......they go too far the other direction. I just don't want to see this happen to you. That's why I was trying to reign you in, when I read what your W said. It sounded as if she was speaking from a place of hurt, instead of anger.

Anyway, try to stay in the middle of the road, and don't swing too far over either side. I don't want to confuse you, and sometimes I feel I do.