Hi Slowly ... I'm aware I haven't been around that much during you're current thread, altho you are far from lacking in getting such insight advise ... finally have a moment to catch back up.

One thing that struck me was...
Quote:

This is both an asset as well as a problem. I'm speculating that part of OW's attraction was that she was not 'strong'. H repeatedly tells me he always thought we would be ok, because I'm a strong woman I need to find a way to make him see that being strong does not mean not wanting tenderness. Ideas welcome

I'm going to take a slightly different approach ... maybe what H is attracted to are some aspects of vulnerability? Whether it be wanting the oppurtunity to be the prince that saves the damsel in distress or just to know that you don't always have an ironclad grasp on everything you're dealing with. Could it be every so often, he might like to be in a position where he can swoop in and save the day for you? I kinda got that impression over the vacation travel plans ... where you gathered all the info, then went to him and ask for his imput and after you both decided on what you wanted to do, he took charge of the arrangements.

... or ...

from a romantic angle ... maybe some role-playing in the bedroom as the damsel in distress? I'll leave that to you to conjure up the scenario.

'til later,
KAW