Ugh......I really just need to GTFO when W wants to talk with me.
She came up to me while I was washing bottles for YS, and she told me that she wants to resolve things between us before this September. Why? So she can go for her training this fall, and someone is retiring so she will be able to get a spot at her same office, with the same supervisor she currently has. I told her that I would need to think about that.
Then this prompted essentially a replay of Tuesday night.
She rehashes my fault “why can I never get a straight answer out of you?” “Why should I trust that you will change when you never have for the last 4 years?” And on and on and on.
I really, really think she is trying to go after an ‘abuse’ angle on me for later, if need be. She talked about how I would do things that hurt her, intentionally or unintentionally. She called that abuse—that I keep doing things that hurt her, whether or not I intend to. Once she said that, that’s where my mind raced to—that if things escalate between us, she could serve me papers and get a court order ordering me out of the house, claiming some sort of threat or abuse.
She said she doesn’t want to be my wife.
She then brought up that if I want any chance at reconciling, I should try to work with her on things.
She said that she would consider going to MC with me—under her conditions, that it is a secular one, and that we go as married, but separated (if that makes sense).
She also asked if she needs to get a lawyer. She wants me to seriously consider her proposal—because she believes that it will be fairer than a family court judge, and she really doesn’t want to fight me, but she will if she needs to. She said she doesn’t want to put OS in front of a judge and have him be asked who he wants to live with. (Guilt, manipulation, I know.).
I’m trying to DB as best as I can but saying ‘I need time to think about that’ when she proposes some heavier things to me (like resolving things by September), but she just goes bananas—she gets very emotional, like she’s going to cry. I’m trying to at least not escalate things (which for me, is a vast improvement than what I used to do). I tried validating, but it’s getting me nowhere. She wants to know what I’m thinking and why I’m thinking what I do and doing what I do. Why does she care so much about this?
A little while later after the conversation, I was prepping tomorrow’s dinner, and she was getting YS’ bottles together. I noticed she packed some breast milk cubes into a bottle, and said ‘using ice cubes?’ Trying to DB by not totally ignoring her, but then she tells me that stress impacts breast milk production—and that her milk production has been way down since Tuesday (when we had our late night chat). I told her that you can do what you can do, and she said to me as she walked out ‘And YOU can do your part.’
Good thing I will be talking with L on Monday afternoon—something just tells me that if things escalate, she wants to play the emotionally abusive card against me.
