If she has been lying and cheating, I may be inclined to seek a 50/50 split, which may result in an extra $50K in my pocket and may impact my ability to keep the house.
If she is having an A I would put the full court press on her immediately moving out.
How I would treat W would probably be much different.
It sounds like youre saying "if W is having an affair, I would want to punish her."
Why do you think you feel that way?
I sure understand that how it seems. I think there are a few things going on with this mindset. I have always been a person who desires respect and conducts himself in a way to try and obtain respect. Generally, I have never subscribed to the oft-cited theory that respect must be first earned. I believe everyone's default should be to show respect and act accordingly. I understand the concept of loss of respect and how actions can cause this to happen, however. But certain responses to a loss of respect are never acceptable and I believe should receive consequences.
For instance, if I were to find out that one of my long-time trusted staff had been lying and cheating me on hours or in some other way, I would take that as a huge sign of disrespect - not only "how could you do that", but "how could you do that to ME". It's very personal. I would fire them immediately and have security escort them out. If I found out that a long-time trusted business partner was screwing me over on a deal, I would sue them for breach of contract and make them hurt as much as the contract terms allowed. This mindset flows from my issue with respect and my morality - I don't lie, cheat, steal or screw people over - ANYONE - let alone those closest to me. Doing so is the ultimate betrayal in my view.
Infidelity has always been a major trigger for me. I had an older female cousin who I was/am very close to, and when I was in college her husband cheated on her and left her. She was absolutely destroyed. I will never forget how she fell into my arms sobbing when she told me. I didn't know what to say or how to comfort her. I wrapped my arms around her and it felt like I was trying to hold a million fragments together. It was horrible. I can still feel that moment as I write about it now. I promised myself that I would never do that to another human being EVER. And I never have and never will. I just expect the same courtesy and enough respect to not have that done to me.
Sorry for the ramble. Not even sure if I really answered your question!
